I’m sure everyone has times in life of feeling ‘not like yourself’. I’ve had several phases like that. Most of 1997 (when I lived in Pennsylvania and had almost no friends) and the years preceding my divorce certainly come to mind. I look back and don’t fully recognize the person I was.
These days I’m experiencing the exact opposite. At 42 I feel so completely comfortable and happy with the my current place in life the universe and everything that it is a little concerning. Any more of this and my state of stupidly happy runs the risk of annoying everyone around me. In many ways, the birth of my daughter and death of my marriage allowed for a complete overhaul of what I wanted my life to be. It has taken many steps and a long while to get here, but most every step/choice over the last 5 years or so has let in the right direction. I’m not saying that life is perfect. Talking about real life here where there are plenty of things to cause stress, worry and discomfort. I think the difference is that I feel so very much myself that I feeling like I’m enjoying the ride of day to day life to its full extent.
The very last part of the process has been bringing my physical body to the same state where I feel comfortable in it. For me this means being strong enough to do the gymnastic type activities I’ve loved my entire life. I let excuses like work, traffic, depression and general life get in way for the last decade, but I’m now rediscovering something that makes me incredibly happy.
I started a running/strengthening program last year. Took a few months off for foot surgery, built back up for our surf trip this winter and tweaked my eating habits in the spring. Three months ago I started aerial circus classes and I’m still brimming with new convert enthusiasm. Full steam ahead!