20 November 2017

It’s unfortunate that I usually only find myself wanting to write when things are terrible. The past weeks have been an especially extreme series of ups and downs vacillating wildly between moments where I feel like I have all of my stuff together and pretty good about how it is all going to just a few minutes later realizing that I’ve made some dumb mistake, smacking my head saying wondering why I’m such a bonehead. Frustration, confusion, joy, pride, pain, concern, exhaustion, overwhelm all ping-ponging off each other. Unsurprisingly, the swirl of travelling, stress, injury and fighting a seemingly never-ending cold have played havoc on my diet and exercise habits which are exactly the things I need to keep me firmly buckled in during this type of emotional roller coaster.

I’ve had amazing opportunities open up along with huge obstacles loom overhead and I find myself determined to view my current life situation as a whole life version of the tough mudder challenge because unless I find some way to reframe what is going on I’m in grave danger of falling into a pit of seasonal depressive sulkiness about the unfairness portions of what is happening. So went into the weekend determined to square my shoulders, shake off this threatening ennui and get to work. If life is going to start beating me down, I feel like now is a tipping point where I can either keep taking the punches or start fighting back.

Sorry for the vagueness of the above, but there is much happening on several fronts so I’m going to start with vague and fill in the gaps as I go along.

About Renee

Fortysomething mom, wife and mechanical engineer. Currently working out plans to found a retirement home circus troupe.

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