Turbulent Flow

Prologue

5 years ago I took a surf lesson in Mexico. Since the moment I got up on the board and experienced the shore zooming toward me for a very long 3 seconds or so, I've been hearing a voice in the back of my head shouting AGAIN! Next month I turn 40. What better excuse to satisfy the voices than that? So here I am on my way to a beach in Costa Rica. The general plan is to spend a week learning how to surf. Simon and I have put together a sort of do-it-yourself surf school. Rented a beach house and signed up for 5 days of surf lessons. I don't have high aspirations. As an almost 40 year old not out of shape, but not in omg 6-pack abs shaped Canadian mother living in a landlocked province I'd be kidding myself if I came here with visions of hanging 10 with any degree of impressiveness. My hope is to become a vauguely competent beginner. Getting up on the board and experiencing another 3 seconds of flying above the water will be good enough for me.

DAY 1

Sitting on an airplane to Houston and then on to Liberia, Costa Rica! Unfortunately, Simon isn't sitting beside me. We learned at check-in that Costa Rica requires a 3 month buffer on passport expiry and Simon's was short by 1 week. So while he spends the morning getting a rush passport renewal I'm travelling solo to Central America. If all goes well he should be joining me for Day 2. I'm both terrified and excited to be travelling on my own. Thankfully our plans were to stay at the airport hotel the first night so all I really have to do on my own is fly in, get through customs and take a shuttle to the hotel. Not exactly epic travel!

...

After two (late) 4 hour flights and 5 hours of wandering around the Bush International Airport arriving in Costa Rica was feeling much less like a fun adventure and much more like a dull slog. By midnight I was at the hotel searching for wifi with little on my mind beyond contacting Simon and collapsing into bed.

I'm here!

We didn't get the house. We were close (2nd out of 6 bidders), but much like getting pregnant close still means more trying. The upside is that Simon and I will be able to enjoy our upcoming vacation without the stress cloud of house prepping and moving hanging overhead. Recognizing that this process could take a while we've adjusted our gameplan. New plan is to prep and sell Simon's house now and move everyone into my place in the west end. The reason why we haven't done this sooner is that it will be an incredibly tight squeeze. Both of us need space to work from home and it will take a miracle for two adults, one toddler and three dogs to avoid tripping over one another. The upside is that financially and time wise it will put us in a great position to get what we want when the next great place comes up. Besides, the entire point of this house buying project is to get everyone under one roof so we may as well go forward with that part sooner rather than later. And for me it might even provide the kick in the pants I'm in desperate need of to get this place decluttered.

Here we go!

Tonight Simon and I will take our first formal stab at blending our families by bidding on a house. Toronto real estate is notoriously nail biting with multiple offers and prices that everyone outside of the city consider to be totally insane. This place is in the trendy neighbourhood of Roncesvales near both Sorauren and High Park. I've never cared much about fancy neighbourhoods, but the proximity to 2 offleash dog areas makes the location pretty sweet. In well maintained condition with 3 floors of Victorian architecture and high ceilings it is definitely a place I could see spending the next 20-30 years living in. By bedtime tonight we should have an answer!

Of course, bidding on a house brings with it the very real possibility of having to prep and sell our current homes within the next month. A month where we've booked a 10 day vacation in Costa Rica (I know, poor poor me!), Simon is on a deadline to write multiple grant applications and l'm swamped with work and approaching tax season. Clearly we are completely nuts, but for a house that has everything we want in a home it seems worth the prospect of a very challenging February.

I've never been a rememberer. Names, titles, songs and other details of daily life regularly escape from my brain like so much pasta water. One of the things I love about blogging is that it gives me a way to catch a few of the noodlely bits that might otherwise escape.

Right now life is pretty busy and seems determined to make it even more so. My single parent status now has an expiry date as the boyfriend and I make plans to blend our lives into one crazy conflagration of 2 adults, 3 dogs and a toddler under one roof. Boyfriend (hereforth known as Simon - that being his name) and I met last March. Good thing I got my oats sewn in my 20s because I was pretty stunned to find myself in a serious relationship before I'd even waded ankle deep into the internet dating waters this time around. So after almost a year of dating we are pretty excited to put an end to the unending trips back and forth across the city and get everyone in the same house.

The prospect of shopping for a new house isn't that scary. Kinda fun actually. However, once we find the place we want to buy it is the idea of staging two houses, selling two houses, packing, moving and unpacking leaves me in a cold sweat if I let myself think about it too much.

The first year after my relationship ended was pretty hard. Most of 2010 was spent just putting one foot in front of the other. Toward the end the ex and I finally had a legal separation agreement and I was able to start thinking about what my life should be beyond parenting, dog walking, and working.

I didn't write much, but 2011 was the year I found my post-divorce groove. As Portia started sleeping through the night and the permanent bags under my eyes slowly receded I looked for a life beyond bare survival. It wasn't always easy and I regret not writing more of it down, but I wasn't sure if I could write about the challenges without getting bitter about my ex and his decision to leave. I still struggle with that, despite knowing all along that breaking up was the best decision both for him and for me.

And with 2011 now behind me I can say that I'm feeling very much like my life is something to truly enjoy. Portia has grown from a baby into a hilarious toddler that constantly surprises me with the complexity and creativity of her thoughts. I could live on her hugs alone. I got incredibly lucky internet dating and met someone that seems to share my vision of what an enjoyable life looks like. Plus he's cute, smart and cooks. We've travelled together both with and without the kiddo and he's also served as encouragement to get back into my favourite activities. Last year I ran a 10k race, rock climbed (indoor and out), and broke out my snowboard for the first time since getting pregnant.

Life is feeling pretty good these days.